Listen to the Silence

One of the most healing things a person can do for themselves to feel the emotions. I spent so many years just running from the pain inside or numbing the pain with other things that once I actually just sat down, in silence, I finally was able to hear my heart.

I know that in the United States we do not like silence. It makes us uncomfortable, so we surround ourselves in noise. I walk in my house and turn my Bluetooth speaker on and blast music as loud as tolerable. I sit at my desk and turn music on for studying. I tell myself that I will listen to the silence later, but what my soul needs is to be quiet.

Once I noticed that I was using music to cover up the silence in my heart, I turned off my music. I just sat in my chair and listened to my heart. That was when I realized that I didn’t really know myself. So, I became curious about myself. What made me tic? What was at the center of my being? What did I like? What do I not like?

While all the positive things are well and good, but I learned a lot of negative things about myself that I have to learn to either accept or change. Not everything that is bad about has to be changed, but you have to decide if you need to change things about yourself. One negative thing about me is that when I am interested in something new, I become obsessed to the point that I neglect everything else. So, to work on changing that, I have to allow myself a time frame to explore that new interest. When the time is up, I have to go back to my studies or work. Not only is it helping with being consumed with learning about something new, it is teaching me time management. So, you can teach yourself practical skills while working on the negative aspects of yourself.

I also learned to hold myself with kindness in the silence. I am a very self-critical person. I guess if you believe that you are always wrong, you feel the need to apologize, then when alone you replay everything in your head about how you messed up. It is a downward spiral, so I am going to say to you bluntly-STOP. You can drive yourself crazy. Once I recognized these negative thought patterns, I could start working on them. To be honest, I still find myself going down the self-critical path and I stop myself. I try to find the humor in making a mistake. Why be mean to myself when I can make it funny and learn from it. But to be honest, I still sometimes criticize myself for how stupid I can be sometimes. Then I shrug and say that I am still learning.

I have this belief that our souls and bodies know what they need to heal, we just have to listen. We can only listen when we sit in silence. In the silence, we can hear what our bodies are saying. Are you thirty or hungry? What are you craving, and why do you think you are craving that? You can think about all kinds of things, but sitting in silence allows you to learn what your body wants. Your soul is also strengthened by the quiet in that you get to know yourself.

While sitting in silence one day, I realized that I needed to switch to a plant-based diet. I have a chronic pain disorder (most days it feels like I was hit by a car) and everything I ate aggravated it. I also realized that I needed to pull some weeds from my sunflower garden by letting stressful, negative people go from my life. So, I pull the weeds and switched my diet. Once I managed my stress and corrected my diet, I started losing weight and my pain symptoms lessened from a 7 to 1, pretty much overnight. I only realized this after sitting in silence and asking myself what I wanted. Was I happy living in pain everyday or was there a way to not feel that horrible? Out of the silence, I felt I needed to try a vegan diet. I am on day 11 of the 7-day Vegan Challenge and I feel so much better I am going to stay on it. But I know that veganism isn’t for everyone. But everyone can listen to what their bodies are saying they need. Maybe you need to drink more water. Maybe you are neglecting eating veggies or healthy fruits. Just think of something small that you can manage to do right now. So, lets take time to sit in silence (even just a few minutes to begin with) and lets continue to grow together.